Phoned in to a meeting today that was taking place 20 feet from my desk. PGP.

Coworkers that DON’T pick up on social cues. PGP.

Office wide summer colds. PGP.

Ignoring phone calls during my lunch break. At my desk. PGP.

Realizing your entry-level analyst job is a lot like administrative assistant. PGP.

My boss means to say “cease and desist.” What she actually says, every time, is “stop and decease.” Threatening and confusing, all at once. PGP.

Had to give myself a pep talk in the mirror before bed to prepare myself for work tomorrow. PGP.

Not wanting to be known as “The Guy Who Does Nothing,” but not wanting to actually do anything. PGP.

Family knows I hate my job and asked “Why don’t you just go for a walk on your lunch break and see who’s hiring around the city?” PGP.

If I hear the phrase “Just another day in paradise,” I’m going to kill someone.