Saving money on car washes by parking outside during thunderstorms. PGP.

Our water cooler caught on fire. PGP.

“I hope this message finds you well…” PGP.

Girlfriend puked in an Uber this weekend, considering taking $300 out of a mutual fund that I parked away cash for her engagement ring. PGP.

My coworker, who is atleast 20 years older than me, just invited me to a “Galentine’s Day Dinner Party.” PGP.

The meeting before the meeting. PGP.

Refusing to read the “best jobs of 2017” articles because they make me too depressed. PGP.

Working to support my fishing addiction. PGP.

No, I am not attending your dress-up themed party this weekend. PGP.