I’m so bored, I just watched a snapchat story about Toronto. PGP

Sunny and 75 Monday through Thursday. 90% chance of rain Friday through Sunday. PGP.

Vacationing in your college town. #PGP

I got on the same elevator with the attractive girl, and completely choked

My new office is about 90% women and 99% of them have boyfriends or husbands. PGP

Only being able to tell your coworkers the PG13, edited for TV, version of your weekend. PGP

Looking for your Times New Roman in the streets who’s a Wingdings in the sheets, but content on settling with a Calibri every time.

The old ladies at work tell me I dress like their husbands. PGP

Threatening to boycott your friends wedding if they don’t have an open bar. PGP

I had a dream that my tombstone was chiseled in Comic Sans font.