Instagram’s New Archive Feature Is Perfect For Your Miserable Relationship

Instagram’s New Archive Feature Is Perfect For Your Miserable Relationship

Instagram is rolling out a brand new feature, and it’s a godsend for everyone in a shitty relationship. Per The Verge, the archive feature will, “let anyone on Instagram hide their old posts without deleting them…where you’d normally see options like edit and delete, there’ll now be an option to archive the image placed right on top. Hitting that button will send the photo to a private gallery — your archive — where only you can see it.”

Now, to the average person, this may seem boring, or maybe even useless. When I first heard about a new feature I thought it would be something cool, like 3D scrolling pictures, and was subsequently disappointed when I read more. “Why would I want to delete my photos but not delete my photos?” I wondered. “In what scenario would I want to remove a picture from my profile, but still have the opportunity to return it?” That’s when I realized, this feature isn’t for me. It’s not for the average person, whether they be single, or in a stable and healthy relationship.

No, this is for all you shitty couples out there. Yes, you, you annoying assholes. You, who claim to have been together for four years but don’t mention the nine “breaks” they took over those years. You, the couples that break-up in a loud, dramatic fashion (often accompanied by many social media posts), only to get back together with the “love of your lives” a week later. For all you unhealthy, irritating, on-again, off-again couples out there, this is a god-send. Now, instead of deleting every trace of your ex from your Instagram next time you guys are “totally over. For real this time!” you can just archive those pictures, knowing full well you’ll just put them back when you make up in two days. Gone are the days where you had to commit to cutting someone out of your life profile. With the archive feature, all you crazy kids can continue to make a travesty of relationships with ease. Thanks, Instagram.

[via The Verge]

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Nick Arcadia

The opposite of a life coach. Email me if you want some bad advice:

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