Boss went on paternity leave this week. His entire workload was given to me. PGP.

Apparently my headset does not actually mute while I’m on conference calls. PGP.

I gave up cheating on my diet for Lent. PGP.

Using “It was a short month” as your excuse for being broke at the end of February. PGP.

“Have you tried restarting it?” PGP.

Sometimes you just have to take a fuck it I am not going in day. PGP.

Got injured at laser tag. PGP.

Torqued my back carrying groceries over the weekend. PGP.

Endless water cooler talk about the Oscars. PGP.

Being in a perpetual state of, “NO GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!” PGP.

Printed my resume at work for the new job that I’m interviewing for while my boss was waiting behind me in the line. PGPowerMove.

Having to permanently change your bm schedule to accommodate for new daily morning meetings. PGP.