Becoming incredibly good at subtly reading name tags at professional conferences. PGP.

Pissing contests with your friends over who has to wake up earlier for work. PGP.

Olive Garden for the first date. PGP.

Actually having to “drink responsibly.” PGP.

All my bosses look rich as fuck. PGP.

Being overqualified for the job you have, yet unqualified for every job you want. PGP.

Getting jealous when you receive an “out of office” reply email. PGP.

Applying for jobs, at your job, because you hate your job. PGP.

Switching off between different routes to the bathroom so no one realizes how much time you spend in it. PGP.

Passing your problems on down the coworker totem pole. PGP.

I never know my party’s extension. PGP.

Being the go to guy for computer problems because you’re the youngest in the office. PGP.