Had a mild heart attack when my boss wanted to talk to me about my “computer usage.” Turns out he just needed help with PowerPoint.
I’m a regular at more than one Subway.
I put in my notice and the company owner told me not to bother coming back.
Manager is making the office work Saturday to make up for not working on Thanksgiving. PGP
Accidentally put “Need More Junior Anal” instead of “Need More Junior Analysts” in an email subject line. PGP.
My girlfriend discovered my PGP name
Messaged a girl on tinder telling her how pretty she was. She unmatched me. PGP.
Having to burn through your own data at work to check social media because HR now monitors everyone’s wifi usage. PGP
Getting rejection e-mails from companies you don’t remember applying to. PGP
Accidentally got my work wife fired. PGP
“So I know we’ve been talking recently of you being promoted, but…”
It’s 12:42 am, I wake up in 6 hours to get ready for work. I am unsure of whether or not I’m in good enough shape to masturbate enjoyably right now. PGP