Charging friends a monthly fee to use your HBO GO account. PGP.

Eating a salad makes me feel better about myself, even if it is loaded with bacon and chicken and dressing and all sorts of other shit. PGP.

When a stapler jam sends you into an emotional spiral. PGP.

Being in “rare form” now refers to being late for a meeting. PGP.

Forgetting to switch to a “Private Session” on Spotify when listening to cheesy pop music at work. PGP.

“Will you be bringing a date to the office party?” PGP.

Paper cuts ruining your day. PGP.

I would probably get fired if it weren’t for YouTube tutorials. PGP.

Working hard all day…to make sure your fantasy lineup is set just right. PGP.

Reading your spam emails to try and look busy. PGP.

Waking up hungover after a few beers during the game. PGP.

Taking shots…of DayQuil. PGP.