Reading spam email out of boredom. PGP.

Accountable for everything, responsible for nothing. PGP.

“Sorry, my phone was on mute.” PGP.

1: “How’s it going?” 2: “It’s going.” PGP.

Working from home = PlayStation 4 + ensuring communicator is always green. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with my 18-year-old brother is that we both want fake IDs saying we are 21. PGP.

Not staying up to see the moon last night because you wouldn’t have been able to function at work today. PGP.

Your fictional allergies “acting up” every time you’re noticeably hungover at work. PGP.

When you say “EOD,” do you mean end of YOUR day or MY day? Because I’m checked out by 3 o’clock. PGP.

Your couch and coffee table doubling as your dinner table and “home office.” PGP.

Developing unhealthy delusions of winning the lottery. PGP.

“It’s cold in here today.” -Everyone. PGP.