Learning the hard way to keep happy hour and social media separate. PGP.

I’ve been using my using my old roommate’s Netflix account for 5 years. PGP.

1: “What are you getting into this weekend?” 2: “Probably just the usual.” PGP.

I had a nightmare that my company hired Terry Tate. PGP.

My manager always manages to walk by my cubicle whenever I’m texting. PGP.

When “eating healthy” is having all the basic food groups in your Chipotle bowl. PGP.

Flirting with the UPS guy because he’s the only attractive man you see at work. PGP.

Someone clogged my favorite toilet in the office on Monday. It still hasn’t been fixed. PGP.

Contemplating throwing yourself down the stairs at work for some workers comp money every time you leave the office. PGP.

All of your friends asking you to hook them up with the product your company makes. PGP.

Brushing your teeth while peeing in the morning to save time. PGP.

That moment of anxiety between logging into your bank account and waiting for the page to load. PGP.