Referring to the remaining hair on your head as “The Power Doughnut.” PGP.

1: “I bought them the cheapest thing on their registry. A frother.” 2: “What the fuck is a frother?” 1: “I don’t know.” PGP.

BACK SEAT, WINDOWS UP…is how I arrive at work in my carpool. PGP.

Getting an endorphin rush from one flight of stairs. PGP.

Conference calls: where stupid questions are born, respect for coworkers is lost, and justification for happy hour is found. PGP.

Having a significantly better lifestyle while away on a business trip. PGP.

Shamelessly taking any and all handouts offered to you while visiting family back home. PGP.

It’s a 10 minute walk from my parking space to the office. PGP.

My mom is currently on the phone with the mechanic because I have no idea what to say to them when it comes to fixing my car. PGP.

The server at Chipotle added me on LinkedIn. PGP.

The cruel irony that we are the generation that grew up in the “bling” era of rap. PGP.

Contemplating a Denzel from Training Day-esque meltdown upon being told to complete the simplest of tasks. PGP.