Getting banned from multiple Chipotles for getting caught telling the cashier you got “half and half” when you really got double meat. PGP.

Checking your email during vacation out of habit. PGP.

My friends are getting engaged and buying homes. I still sleep in an extra-long twin bed. PGP.

“I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” -Kevin Malone. PGP.

I had to stop and take a breather during a hookup this weekend. PGP.

Only keeping Facebook to use Tinder. PGP.

When I was “bending the truth” about my Excel skills in my interview, I didn’t realize how dependent my job was on excel. Quarterly reports? Fuck. PGP.

Hot new intern stopped by to introduce herself. HR stopped by to give me a preemptive warning. PGP.

Taking a nap on the floor of your office instead of taking a lunch break. PGP.

I’m not driving the struggle bus. I’m not even riding the struggle bus. I just got run the fuck over by the struggle bus. PGP.

Making just over the maximum income to be eligible for reduced rent. PGP.

I don’t remember the last time my bank account hit 5 digits. PGP.