The guy two stalls down from me was snoring this morning. PGP.

Probably gonna miss the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tonight because it comes on too late. PGP.

At what age do you get the courage to double flush? PGP.

Everything gives me heartburn. PGP.

Struck up a flirtationship with the hottest girl in my office. Found out she’s banging my boss. PGP.

Johnny Manziel being stuck behind an incompetent veteran. PGP.

Everyone on my holiday shopping list better be okay with stuff from Trader Joe’s. PGP.

I have to bring my own coffee to work. PGP.

Going stag to the office Holiday party. PGP.

I stop doing anything productive around 2:30 on Thursday. PGP.

My friend just bought 80 acres of land as an investment. I just saved 15% in 15 minutes on my car insurance. PGP.

There’s no way I’m hitting my sales quota. PGP.

I don’t play video games, but I listen to video game music at work. PGP.

I can’t sleep past 6 a.m. PGP.

No plans are the best plans. PGP.

The “Yeah, I can get drunk on $25″ conversation with yourself every Friday. PGP.

Have I seen the sun this week? PGP.

I don’t even know what my New Year’s resolution was for 2014. I do know that I didn’t keep it. PGP.

I haven’t bought a new video game in years. PGP.

The new coffee I switched to gives me heartburn. PGP.