I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Going into your weekly conference call knowing you had the most productive week, and leaving the call feeling like you accomplished nothing the past week. PGP.

Working for a company that doesn’t have “summer Fridays.” PGP.

Literally destroying your desk, apartment and car to find all this months receipts for your expense report. PGP.

Having to wait until your lunch break for Friday hangover brunch. PGP.

Work was offering free lunch today but instead I drove 10 minutes and ate at Arby’s alone just to get out of the office. PGP.

I’m more attracted to the DirecTV puppet wife than the girls at my agency. PGP.

Earning shit money as I gear up to take the series 7. PGP.

Bad tie days. PGP.

Having to scour WeightWatchers.com to find the (apparently) mysterious number of points a decent beer will cost me. I just want to drink a damn beer. PGP.

My friend just told me she saw my boss at the bar watching the game. He told me he was going to Staples. PGP.

An older coworker referring to pressing the power button on a computer as “reworking the hard-drive.” PGP.