Retail therapy occurs exclusively in the clearance section. PGP.
Girlfriend got into bed with her retainer in…again. PGP.
I’d make 15% more if I had a better fake laugh. PGP.
You don’t know evil till you meet a bathroom whistler. PGP.
A senior manager told me today that I am headed for great things. He couldn’t see that I was looking at job listings on my laptop. PGP.
Getting less Tinder matches in college towns. PGP.
The first place I wore my fitbit was a Waffle House. PGP.
The guy next to me eats 8-10 popsicles a day. PGP.
“Did you get a haircut?” No, I actually showered today. PGP.
Overtime means I’ll find out who wins tomorrow morning. PGP.
Went to a costume party this weekend. Downed a six-pack while I was there. You could say things got pretty wild. PGP.
I don’t feel happy anymore when I get paid. Just guilt. PGP.