My wife joined Twitter. Now I have to stop following porn stars. PGP.

Getting up to go to the bathroom out of boredom, not necessity. PGP.

Working a job I hate, to live in a city I despise. PGP.

Getting called a “bad girl” by my IT guy for streaming Pandora. PGP.

A Thursday happy hour resulting in eight unhappy hours on Friday. PGP.

Wearing the same pair of jeans to work for the third day in a row. PGP.

Meaningless email conversations. PGP.

Getting rejected by the charming but hideous IT guy. PGP.

Getting stressed trying to figure out how I’m going to afford Christmas gifts for all my family and friends. PGP.

Teaching people who make five times my salary how to do their jobs correctly. PGP.

Getting caught liking boner-related articles on Facebook. PGP.

Netflix reminding me every couple of hours how lazy I am by asking if I’m really still watching. PGP.