Having the choice between taking PTO or driving 30 miles through snow and ice. PGP.

Showed up early enough to be on time, but late enough to miss out on free bagels. PGP.

The seamless transition from coffee to alcohol. PGP.

I have to stop drinking like I’m still in college. PGP.

Team Snapchat was the only person to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day. PGP.

The last two girls I dated have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Just got a text from the office manager saying we are opening the office late due to the snow. I was already here. PGP.

I feel hungover every morning. I drink heavily about twice a week. PGP.

I officially have life insurance. PGP.

The cubicle fifteen is real. PGP.

When buying new jeans is easier than losing the weight. PGP.

The amount of estrogen envy in the office every time flowers are delivered. PGP.

My boss just bought a car that’s worth more than twice my salary. PGP.

Taking Gas-X pills is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound for me. PGP.

Canceled lunch plans with friends so I could nap instead. PGP.

Still waiting on that Christmas bonus. PGP.

Every week is like finals week. PGP.

My paycheck feels like a participation award. PGP.

Not only have my friends been getting married, but now some of them are getting divorced. PGP.

Walking briskly through the office to create an illusion of being busy. PGP.