Being torn between belittling judgement and fleeting jealousy of people who still live with their parents. PGP.

I’ve never been asked for proof that I graduated. PGP.

Having your coworker joggle your mouse when you’ve been gone a long time. PGP.

My boss just invited himself to my wedding. PGP.

1: “How bout that rain last night?” 2: “Yeah, we need it, though.” PGP.

“The webinar will begin shortly. Please remain on the line” PGP

Wondering if the office milf would cheat on her husband. PGP

I’m legitimately sick today, but I couldn’t call in to work because my boss wouldn’t believe me.

Requesting to move to DEFCON 1. The coffee machine in my office just broke. PGP.

The hangover today is a disheartening reminder that I can’t drink like that during the week. PGP.

I don’t think anyone in my office would notice if I went missing.

Chose to binge watch Netflix last night rather than binge drink tequila. PGP