Can’t look at my Instagram in public because I follow a bunch of swimsuit models. PGP.

“Can we just sleep tonight?” PGP.

“Excuse the mess.” PGP.

Just cleared over a thousand unread emails out of my Gmail inbox. Roughly 11 of them were important. PGP.

Doing things in moderation. PGP.

My mom still leaves me voicemails where she states the time and date. PGP.

It’s all fun and games until someone complains to HR. PGP.

“I’ll look at it on Monday.” PGP.

No pledges to clean up your apartment. PGP.

“Did you try clearing your cookies?” PGP.

5 Beer Hangover. PGP.

The fear of Friday morning keeping you from enjoying Thursday night. PGP.

When you have to leave happy hour in a taxi cab. PGP.

“Do you have my card?” PGP.

Only using the restrooms on other floors. PGP.

The FreeConferenceCall.com hold music is stuck in my head. PGP.

Not even bothering with the 19-year-olds on Tinder. PGP.

Keeping your headphones on hours after your iPod died so no one talks to you. PGP.

Prostate exams. PGP.

Talking about how successful that one friend is. PGP.