The 2 o’clock “I fucking hate this place” sigh

Perfecting your fake laugh. PGP

I’m excited about my order from Staples. PGP.

Got a promotion today. Didn’t get a raise. PGP

Grotesquely over exaggerating your job title to the waitress at The United Airlines Club when she asks what you do for a living. PGP

“And don’t worry, the survey is completely anonymous, so feel free to be honest”

Sounds like my upstairs neighbor just purchased an electric guitar, and doesn’t know how to play it. PGP.

It’s my last day at work. I’m showing up two hours late just to clean out my desk and wave goodbye.

Not being able to connect to the company WiFi in the bathroom. PGP.

Took vacation on my birthday next week to avoid my coworkers, they found out and are making me celebrate today. PGP.

“Is it on Netflix?”

Forgetting your headphones is like the end of the world. PGP.