I finally understand, “girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money.” PGP.

“Feel free to reach out!” PGP

Woke up this morning and thought it was Friday. PGP

I’m dressing up as a skinny-fat dad for Halloween. Actually, I do that every day. PGP.

Crashed a conference at the hotel across from my office during my lunch break #FreeCoffeeMug. PGPM.

People in the office are bringing their kids in Friday to trick or treat. Now I have to share my candy. PGP

Needing a third cup of coffee before noon. PGP.

How do I only own two pairs of jeans at this point in my life? PGP.

Stayed up to watch the end of the game last night. Paying for it this morning. PGP.

Being told that wearing a costume tomorrow “while not mandatory, it is highly recommended to promote team building and unity.” $25 gift card to Applebee’s prize for the winner

I forgot my lunch. PGP.

Too old for the interns & too young for the widows. PGP.