I’m starting to order more water than beer at the bar. PGP.

Office’s computer network was hacked so all systems are down. I’ve being doing newspaper puzzles all morning and getting paid for it. PGP.

My job frequently touts “Work/Life Balance” but regularly denies PTO… PGP.

That one neighbor who doesn’t shovel his portion of the sidewalk…oh wait that was me. PGP.

Got food poisoning on the second day of my honeymoon. PGP.

Feeling proud for stopping at three beers. PGP.

My 11-year-old cousin gets more Instagram likes than I do. PGP.

When my boss asked me about my New Year’s Resolution, I almost said “finding a new job.” PGP.

I never thought one of the things I had to look forward to was tax season. PGP.

I just thanked a colleague for “gassing me up” and he gave me a weird look. PGP.

PGP asking about what readers want. Readers respond they want more “adult” columns. Borislow puts out article about weather. PGP.

“Alright guys… if we all don’t come in this Friday… they can’t fire all of us.” – My coworkers every week. PGP.