Checking your bank account balance on Monday morning to motivate yourself to go to work. PGP.

That smart water I always have at my desk could be water, but it could be vodka. PGP.

Just noticed a “Trump ’16” bumper sticker on my boss’s car. PGP.

My car was fully covered in bird shit this morning. PGP.

The highlight of my weekend was getting new bed sheets. PGP.

I had two Aleve and a Prilosec for lunch.

Quit my job for a better one. Got a severance package. PGPowermove.

Just got a Facebook friend request for the first time in forever. It’s a girl from my high school class who unfriended me a couple years ago. PGP.

Still don’t know what GOAT means. PGP

My Seamless order is late. PGP.

Brexit. PGP.

Meeting No. 473 that could’ve been an email. PGP