When girls say, “I miss your face!” *cue me punching myself in the vagina* When someone’s info on their Instagram says something like, “Lover of all things furry and pink. Cappuccino enthusiast.” *vomit ensues* The words “yummy,” “meal” and “stinky.” That took seriously more strength to even type that word than you will ever know. …
This Polar Vortex is really starting to affect my life, and I’ve about had it. Not only are we Southern Californians having to endure one of the harshest winters in US history, but we don’t even get the sympathy of the media—or social media for that matter. Oh no, it snowed in Tennessee. Tweet me …
Pooping. Doing your business at your place of business is no funny business. I’m not a huge fan of doing a deuce outside of my home-base, but sometimes you have tacos for lunch. You will have to poop at your office. It’s inevitable. The only way to make this completely foreign and shitty experience a little …
I made the move from the Midwest to Austin just over six months ago and was blown away with how different this city was from my Heartland hometown. The people are active (not just working out, but they go do stuff. Like all the time), the food is incredible and life works a little differently …
So unless you work for Google (nerd alert!) or some kewl start-up, chances are you’re going to work in a pretty awkward environment for your first job. It takes several months to acclimate to spending the majority of your day amongst squares who are worrying about how to pay for their kids’ college educations. You …
22. The “walk of shame” was neither a point of shame, or of pride. It was basically just a Saturday morning walk…
2. It’s light out, so you can see the person you’re about to hook up with a little better and your beer goggles might not be as powerful/deceptive…
My dad is pretty much the king motivational/inspirational quotes. Basically, since I could walk, my dad has used any and all forms of communication to express clichéd words of encouragement. For a stretch of about 5 years, my dad would put motivational quote magnets in my Christmas stocking. Let’s pretend it’s endearing for a minute, …
I woke earlier than usual that morning. It was 37 degrees and my bones ached from the cold, which stung me to my very core. I rose out of my bed and went downstairs. It was still dark out. The day ahead would be grim. Weather forecasters predicted some sort of cold, slush-like rain, with …
Name: Alexis Henderson Age: 24 Gender: Female Height: 5’10’’ 1. Are you a US Citizen? Yes. 2. Describe your current educational and employment status: I graduated from an amaaaaaze university in four years. I majored in Strategic Communications and minored in Business. I’m currently working for a small boutique ad agency. But I would basically …
I can count the number of times I’ve smoked pot on two hands. A very casual smoker, I have only ever partaken by happenstance, when the opportunity was thrust upon me at a get-together among friends. I’ve never paid for it, either. I’ve always thought that someone who buys pot wears the “pot smoker” label, …
Come on, George. Isn’t it enough that you’re regularly ranked one of the most handsome men in the world? Personally, I always took a little comfort thinking that you were a huge douchebag in real life, but your recent AMA on Reddit has shown me that not only are you a pretty cool guy, you …
I’ll admit it. I’ll even scream it from the rooftops. I’m a recent college graduate and sometimes I think I would give my left tit to go back. College was the best four years of my life thus far, and if the rest of my life is anything like the last eight months, I would give …
Let me preface this article with this: I’m not overly-feminist. I don’t feel that women are constantly oppressed. I don’t hate males. In fact, I love them. I consider myself a humanist. But I have noticed a trend of injustice that particularly applies to women. When we are being courted by a gentleman caller and …
Have you ever wanted to stick it to your boss, like really publicly? I mean super, super publicly? That’s what an unnamed woman plans on doing Super Bowl Sunday, when a GoDaddy ad will air to hundreds of millions of people. With the help of actor John Turturro, this woman will become a hero to …
Great mixtape from Viceroy aka Mr. “Summertime All the Time”. Can’t argue with that, especially since its so cold outside your nips could be classified as a concealed weapon. “You’ve had two pairs of gloves this entire time?” “Uh, yeah, It’s the Rockies!”
As I drive down the streets of Austin, Texas, one of the fastest growing cities in the country, where it is well-known that some 130+ average people move per day, I see construction workers, bus drivers, gas station employees, mailmen and businessmen that are waiting at the crosswalks downtown, and I can’t help but wonder, …
The other day, one of my old college buddies that lives in DC shared an article with me explaining “Why Florida is the Worst Place on Earth.” Sure, when you turn on the local news in this state, you’re guaranteed to see multiple bizarre stories such as a man trying to pay his water bill …
From the day you shared a bedroom with your older brother to the day you found that house with dirt cheap rent on Craigslist that turned out to be a drug front, we’ve all had the glorious experience of rooming with another human. Whether it’s a friend or a stranger, here are some tips for …
10. The parties When a bunch of stressed out law students gather together for “bar reviews,” a type of dark debauchery ensues. People blackout, people dance like Taylor Swift at the Grammys, and people hook up, just like undergrad, but on a weirder level. People’s minds aren’t in a sane place, and after a few …
