- When girls say, “I miss your face!” *cue me punching myself in the vagina*
- When someone’s info on their Instagram says something like, “Lover of all things furry and pink. Cappuccino enthusiast.” *vomit ensues*
- The words “yummy,” “meal” and “stinky.” That took seriously more strength to even type that word than you will ever know.
- When someone is wearing Tory Burch head-to-toe. Haha. Okay, bitch. We GET IT.
- People who have dogs that shouldn’t.
- Homeless people who have dogs…
- Bad eyebrows. Too thin eyebrows. Even though my lighter-colored brows turn their back on me when the flash is on in pictures sometimes and decide not to show up… THEY’RE THERE.
- Literally just passing by a Carl’s Jr.
- When a girl freaks out when someone says the word “moist” trying to be cute (I will never understand this one).
- Everyone at the gym.
- When girls wear frosty eyeshadow all the way up to their eyebrows.
- People who only drink beer at the bar.
- When a girl posts a picture of a celebrity she thinks she looks like on “Woman Crush Wednesday” just so people will say she looks like her.
- People who think they are superior because they read books instead of watch reality TV.
- Tennis shoes with jeans EVER (this is kind of self-explanatory).
- People that don’t find things I find funny to be funny at all.
- Guys who think they’re better than everyone and force you to re-introduce yourself every time you are around them even though you KNOW they know exactly who you are.
- When girls hate the baddest bitches on reality shows like Brandi and Stassi (they are clearly superior).
- EVERYTHING from Victoria’s Secret PINK line.
- When I offer a homeless person something and they turn me down (a guy once asked me for any change I had then scoffed at me as he threw the nickels and pennies into a flowerbed beside me).
- When a friend that is really skinny keeps saying, “I’m so fat” while constantly looking her own body up and down in the mirror like “Yeah, I’d tap that.”
- Fedoras. Fedoras. Fedoras. Fedoras. Most fedoras.
- People who are “too tired” to go out after happy hour….. Bitch I’m just getting started!!!
- “They’re” vs. “their”… Do I seriously need to explain further/does everyone NOT agree.
- When someone takes up two parking spots because they are a freaking idiot/drive too big of a truck. ALWAYS write a note starting with the words “You make me SICK.”
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