10 Reasons You Actually Miss Law School


10. The parties

When a bunch of stressed out law students gather together for “bar reviews,” a type of dark debauchery ensues. People blackout, people dance like Taylor Swift at the Grammys, and people hook up, just like undergrad, but on a weirder level. People’s minds aren’t in a sane place, and after a few straight liquor drinks on top of whatever study aids they utilized that day, the weird really starts to show. It’s actually kind of magical to see the gunners relax and resemble a person you’d almost consider hanging out with, the uptight ones pull the bluebook out of their asses, and the rest of the people that won’t care until two weeks before finals continue not to care. There’s also a celebration for everything: “Back-to-school bash,” “After-finals bash,” “It’s Thursday, mid-semester and we got a sweet deal on a party bus bash!” I thought I could never party as hard as I did in undergrad, but then I went to law school. It seriously comes close, if not ties, and that’s scary for like, America and stuff.

9. Fridays off

I don’t know if every law school does this, but enough said. Apparently, you’re supposed to spend them studying or something?

8. Gchat in class

If you’re not in a group chat with a third of your class at any given point during lecture, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t give me that “it’s too distracting” nonsense. They can actually save your ass if you get called on and can’t manage to pull some bullshit out of your magic law hat. Not to mention, what is said in there is the stuff of legends, and I laugh to this day about some of those epic convos.

7. Having everyone feel sorry for you

Having a bad day? You have the perfect excuse to be a moody little asshole to everyone. You’re in law school, for crying out loud!

6. Excuses for excessive alcohol intake, and any other bad habits for that matter

(See #7 above, same theory applies.)

5. Being able to get out of anything you don’t want to do

“Sorry, I don’t have time. I have to study.” – As you hit the next bar

4. Feeling like you have money, even if you will have to pay it back some day

When you already owe more than you can sell your first-born for, what’s a few nice dinners and a few rounds of shots, maybe a new pair of fancy lawyer shoes or something?

3. Everyone can be talked into mid-day happy hour

Just because you can, even if you shouldn’t.

2. Still having the mindset you’ll be rich and do cool things someday

Maybe we’re still in that weird transition/establishing yourself depressing period, but HAHAHA, I was a hopeless legal romantic. Wasn’t that cute?

1. Friends (aww sweet, I know)

Maybe I was just blessed by the law school gods with a group of classmates I grew to love because they knew I wouldn’t make it through without fellow degenerates to drown what seemed like sorrows with. If you didn’t get so lucky, I feel sorry for you, because I miss seeing those stressed out, hungover faces every day. Some people may look at us across the courtroom one day and say, “Gah, I can’t believe he/she is an attorney. I remember seeing him/her fall down in the bathroom after drinking champagne straight from the bottle while simulating sex on the dance floor, and that was on a semi-tame night (insert some other fun story).” But really, I don’t trust people who don’t like to have a good time, even in the worst of situations, and everyone needs an attorney they can trust.

We did law school the absolute best damn way we knew how, with stories for days about things we can never tell our future children. I understand there are cheaper ways than going to law school to have fun out there and postpone the real world a few more years, but we are now trained cynical analyzers. Argue with any one of us, I dare you.

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After stretching college out for 9 years, McMagistrate is now an attorney in her late-ish 20's who earned her title by embracing the stigma that accompanies a healthy partying habit. She enjoys showing off her sub-par golf game and pretending her impressive law school loan doesn't exist. You can likely find her on her patio, live-tweeting her wine binges, and concerning her neighbors.

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