27 Things That Will Happen When You Move To Austin


I made the move from the Midwest to Austin just over six months ago and was blown away with how different this city was from my Heartland hometown. The people are active (not just working out, but they go do stuff. Like all the time), the food is incredible and life works a little differently than it does back home.

1. You will have no idea how you’re going to keep up with all the healthy people in this city, because all of your meals are now served in taco form.


2. If you haven’t taken an Instagram picture in front of the “I Love You So Much” graffiti on the side of Jo’s Coffee, no one will believe you moved here.

I Love You Austin 3(2)

3. You heard the story about the owl building within the first 24 hours you were here.


4. Your first phone call home was to complain about how terrible the traffic is on I-35.


5. Your second phone call home was to complain about how terrible the traffic is everywhere.


6. The first place you got drunk was somewhere on Sixth Street, but you had trouble remembering which part of Sixth Street you got drunk on.


7. You were awestruck at the sheer size of everything on UT’s campus.


8. You thought you had drunkenly stumbled into someone’s downtown bungalow, when you were really just drunk on Rainey Street.


9. You had an internal struggle in deciding if Torchy’s or Tacodeli was better.


10. You had figured out what you were going to do with all of the money you saved from not having to pay state income tax…until you started grocery shopping at Whole Foods.


11. You have mistaken a tech millionaire for a homeless person.


12. You wonder what the big deal is about bats. They’re bats.


13. The locals welcome you with open arms, but really wish you had moved to Dallas or Houston instead.


14. It’s been six weeks, and you still haven’t seen anyone wearing a suit.


15. You are still confused as to why they call the river a lake. It’s a river, right?


16. You have no idea who the band is that your friend invited you to see, but everyone else does.


17. YES. They have an IKEA.


18. SHIT. It’s in Round Rock.


19. It took you a while to realize Cain & Abel’s and Abel’s on the Lake were two different places.


20. Except for the handful UT game day weekends in the fall, you’re shit out of luck when it comes to sports.


21. The city shuts down if there is any sort of winter weather forecast.


22. You’ve almost wrecked your car on Lamar trying to read this week’s graffiti on the Railroad Bridge.


23. You cannot wrap your head around how people who drink so much can be this active.


24. If your first festival experience was ACL, people told you, “Just wait ’til SXSW…”


25. If your first festival experience was SXSW, people told you, “Just wait ’til ACL…”


26. You haven’t seen Ryan Gosling yet and are starting to think that he’s an urban legend.


27. You have trouble remembering that you’re living in Texas, but then you see something like this.


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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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