5 Questions I Had During My Best Friend’s Going Away Party

5 Questions I Had During My Best Friend’s Going Away Party

It’s always hard to see someone leave, especially when they’re one of your closest friends. All the fun times you had, all the memories you made, all the ball busting, the petty arguments, and random bets over nothing, it all seems to go out the window.

Normally, parting ways with someone still allows for most easy forms of communication like texting or FaceTime. However, that’s not always the case. You see, one of my best friends is moving out of the country. We’re not talking Canada or Mexico; this motherfucker is heading to Barcelona, Spain. Yeah. Barcelona, like that Ed Sheeran song that you didn’t realize was by Ed Sheeran until just now.

Texting’s not really an option, and FaceTime is going to be a pain in the ass with the time difference. We’ve got our methods of communication down, but that doesn’t take away from the suckiness of it all. As the date of departure rapidly approached, we decided as a group to give our friend an additional, more intimate sendoff. I say “additional” because, honestly, we jumped the gun and gave him a going away party about a month ago.

That being said, as the night wore down and the bar lights came on, I found myself getting caught inside my own head, thinking too much. It’s crazy what runs through your mind in those moments. Here’s what my brain dished out to me.

How is this guy going to survive without us?

I’m still young enough to not have friends who are having kids or have to really be responsible for other people, which is probably for the best. However with this guy, well… let’s just say he’s not exactly the most responsible person. This is the guy who blacked out one night and came to wandering around the streets of Miami. Yeah, it was an isolated incident, but we still worry sometimes. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how he made it this far. Either way, this is going to be a big test for him.

Should I be doing something big now as well?

To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve had any big news come through. Sure, I shocked the nation by starting a relationship, but realistically, we had already been talking for six months. By the time September ends, I’ll have watched two friends get married and one move to a different country. Am I ready for a big change? Or would it be better for me to lay low for a little bit and get to be really good at what I’m already doing before jumping to the next level?

What happens to his roster while he’s gone?

Is it just, like, on hold? I mean, last time we discussed it (which was Saturday night), he had what seemed to be a pretty solid rotation going. I’m sure he’s a part of their rosters as well, but what did the conversation look like before he left? My expectation wouldn’t be for them to wait for him, but if this dude comes back a year from now and gets drunk and is feeling some type of way, are those girls still fair game to text? My gut says no, but I almost want him to set himself a reminder for when he returns to find out. Y’know, for science.

Is there anything we can do for one last time that would sum up our friendship before he leaves?

Yes, and we did. It was a bet on how many drinks our friend could have before either 1. Being cut off by his girlfriend, 2. Leaving to go home, or 3. Barfing in the bathroom. Loser would get slapped in the face by our 3rd party friend. If we both lost, we got to knee each other in the nuts at the same time.

We both lost. It hurt.

Why didn’t we plan a roast?

Why? Why??? That would have been such a great way to go out. Knowing our group, we could have destroyed this kid. “Your beard looks like sweaty pubic hair,” “Sweet BMW convertible, how was winning the LPGA Tour?” or “Sweet gym shorts at the bar. Love that move,” all would have been hits at that thing. I actually posed this question to my buddies and was met with the response, “We already do that all the time.” Now that I think about it, I’ve said all of those insults to his face before.

Watching your friends leave is always hard. It’s worse when you’re terrible as I am at keeping in touch. In fact, one of the last things my friend said to me when I told him I would try to visit him was, “You always say that.”

Luckily, I’m on a little bit of a travel kick.

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Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at or whatever.

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