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Updated May 9, 2017 at 4:29 p.m.
I don’t know why this anti-disc golf column is getting a rise out of people 11 months after I initially wrote it, but let me tell you, it’s ruffling some feathers. This guy even went as far as to Facebook message me, which creeps me out more than had he simply emailed me.
Who would want to piss in another man’s Michelob Ultra? Aren’t disc golfer supposed to be chill as hell?
What blows my mind about this that, out of all sports, golf probably gets the most hatred. But for every person who calls it “boring” and “unwatchable,” you don’t see me emailing them and calling them “ignorant” and “pompous.”
But seriously, thanks for reaching out, guy. Please keep the hatred coming because it’s entertained me all day.
Updated May 9, 2017 at 1:58 p.m.
I’ve written over 1,100 pieces for this website and this website alone, and it’s rare that I receive one piece of hate mail let alone two. But here we are confronting the important things in life: disc golf.
I received an email from a disc golfer who shall remain anonymous. He did one of my favorite things in the world – put the entire body of the email in the subject line. It was as follows:
Thank you for reaching out, random disc golfer. I will say this – I’ve never claimed to be a sports writer nor will I ever dive into that world. Simply put, I don’t think people give a shit about my sports takes considering they largely consist of Detroit teams and Premier League soccer. But if you want to see the video this unnamed frolfer sent me, look no further.
Originally published May 9, 2017 at 10:35 a.m.
There are certain groups of people you simply don’t want to piss off. One day you’re sitting there typing words into your computer, the next you’re wondering sifting through your inbox on a Tuesday morning wondering where the hell your life went off the rails.
I’m a pretty middle of the road guy. My takes? They’re not hot because “hot” takes are for people who just want to play devil’s advocate and ruffle people’s feathers. Regarding my political views, I don’t discuss them with the larger majority of people for fear of entering an endless conversation where neither party leaves satisfied. Debate isn’t something I often want to engage in because I’m set in my ways and most people aren’t going to sway me one way or another.
But there’s a line that needs to be drawn. And that line is distinctly between golf and disc golf.
I’ve gone on record saying that I hate disc golf. I’m not going to sit here and expound upon why because I don’t need to reiterate thoughts I’ve already put on paper and shouted from the rooftops. People who refer to golf, a sport with a massive following and rich history, as “ball golf” are some of my least favorite people on earth. They’re the ones who copied a sport played by millions, and they need to have respect for the game that they based their hobby off of.
My opinions on this sport have remained unchanged to the dismay of others. I’m not sure how or why, but my column on disc golf recently surfaced in the disc golf community. And let me tell you, they aren’t happy with me. Just look at this tweet I received yesterday.
Did someone turn down the lights? Because it just got shady as hell in here. The account boasts that it is “Dedicated to the growth and expansion of disc golf. Northeast Ohio to Southern California and everywhere in between.” I’m not sure why they’re completely isolating New England and the rest of the East Coast, but given the attitude that’s being thrown at me from their official Twitter account, I’m not surprised they’re shunning an entire populous region of potential golfers.
I didn’t respond to that tweet because, like I said, I don’t engage in online debate. Furthermore, what they said is completely true. I don’t like disc golf, and I love Kanye West. I love him even more now that it’s being reported that he’s recording an album on an isolated mountain top in Wyoming, but that’s a different story for a different day. Their efforts to poke the bear did not work, but that wasn’t the end of it.
This morning, I received an email from a man named “Paul.” Or “~Paul” as he signed his email.
Wow. Just wow.
I truly do not know what research Paul would like me to do. I’ve played countless hours of golf and have established that it is, in fact, a superior game. And unfortunately, Paul, even if I do the research you’ve requested? I don’t think people are going to take me seriously. My biggest claims to fame are leaking Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover and for hating people’s engagement photos and marriage announcements. I’m not an acclaimed journalist or best-selling author, Paul. I’m just a dude who sits behind a keyboard and calls out shit he hates.
So yes, Paul, I will do as you ask – I will not change and I will keep being arrogant. But Paul, before we end this dialogue, I’d like you to know that I don’t actually own a green jacket. Those are reserved for winners of The Masters, a major golf tournament held every year in Augusta, Georgia. Given that I’m not on the PGA Tour, it would be wildly difficult for me to win one.
You can have one of my beers, though. They’re Michelob Ultras, so I hope that’s okay. I know they’re probably a bit lighter than what you’re drinking. .