Giving the boss a little chin music at the company softball game. PGPM.

My little brother just graduated law school in the top five percent of his class. My dog got kicked out of obedience school. PGP.

The urge to fiercely urinate woke me up 15 minutes before my alarm. PGP.

I’m 100% positive the guy begging for change by my office has a higher net worth than me. PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

I found out my current job was posted on LinkedIn, so I applied for it. PGPM.

Management has been asking for people to volunteer to take days off to save money on payroll. I volunteered tomorrow so I can go to a job interview. PGPM.

Constantly finding yourself in lose-lose situations. PGP.

My paycheck bounced. PGP.

I bet Jake from State Farm makes more than I do. PGP.