Legitimately asking cashiers “How’s your day going?” not out of politeness, but because I’m so eager to interact with anybody outside of my office. PGP.

At this point, I could consider myself a born again virgin. PGP.

25% battery by 2pm. PGP.

Being more stressed out from having nothing to do than by having a lot to do. PGP.

Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.

A girl from Tinder just found me on LinkedIn. PGP.

Can we all just agree that the international sign for “Leave me alone” is eating lunch at your desk? PGP.

Dreaming about retirement three years into the workforce. PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.