Pulled up too far from the ATM and had to open my door. PGP

Asking for new brakes for your birthday. PGP.

Friendly reminders are never friendly. PGP.

CCing on emails is the grownup version of tattletale

You know you’ve been on your phone too long when your monitor goes to sleep. PGP

Going to the 6pm showing of Jurassic Park so I can be in bed by 9.

I’ve been put in charge of Salesforce because I’m “young and better with technology” despite only using it a handful of times.

Heard a catchy new tune on the way to work. Justin Bieber.