There are now NFL head coaches younger than me. PGP.

I’ve already had to use half of my sick days. PGP.

Refusing to burn PTO on the impending ice storm then being the only one in the office who shows up. PGP.

Violently sneezed at the urinal and pissed all over myself. PGP.

Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.

7:30 a.m. on a Monday and someone has already destroyed the bathroom. PGP.

Waiting for payday so I can finally Christmas shop. PGP.

Old enough for wrinkles, young enough for acne. PGP.