My day doesn’t really begin until coffee and I destroy a toilet. PGP

“Looks like someone got some sun this weekend”

Accidentally slept with the boss’s daughter’s best friend. Somehow he heard about it. #PGP

The only reason my digestive health is regular is because of the morning coffee

Had a brief convo with the new guy today…. once he said he is 24 and married I walked away.

Interviewed a guy who reminded me of myself. I did not hire him because I know how much of a piece of shit I am. PGP.

The after lunch poop being the most consistent part of your day. PGP.

You haven’t truly lived until you’ve been drunk 3 separate times in the same day. PGP

Hoping one of the newly graduated employees will be hot. PGP.

Shopping online for golf clubs at work. Googled ‘Dicks’ and had a mini heart attack. PGP.