Too lazy to go out to the bar. Fixed myself up a couple dirty gin martinis and put on some ’70s soft rock instead. PGP.

Left my coffee mug at home and had to use the styrofoam cups like some kind of animal. PGP.

Leading your bowling league in gutter balls and beers drank. PGP.

It took a year of networking and befriending IT to get the Wifi password. PGP

The Urban Dictionary app is atop my used apps because I don’t understand new words and acronyms. PGP.