2016 Masters Live Blog: Thursday

2016 Masters Live Blog: Thursday

Live from Austin, Texas. Best way to view the blog is either on the app (Android link here) or on a desktop where you just violently refresh your browser. As always, ask me anything in the comments. Follow on Twitter for further coverage. Let’s go.

4:02 — Alright, guys. Gotta wrap it up. Will we be back for more live blogs this Masters? Possible. Stay tuned and go Spieth.

3:57 — These dogs are losing their minds and lacking Masters chill right now. Just being nuisances.

3:52 — While I have everyone’s attention, we’re recording a podcast tomorrow with Office Talk. Subscribe to our Soundcloud to know immediately when it’s out.

3:51 — Just went on Snapchat for the first time today. SO many people just mailing it in at work. That’s what we’re all about here at PGP.

3:48 — “HEB delis have some great pimento cheese. I find the super mega giant stores (i.e. the one on I-10 in Houston) make it better than the regular sized stores for some reason. Just FYI.”

Actually went Central Market. Pimento Cheese is the type of thing that won’t be “the best” unless you’re making it yourself, but it can get expensive real quick if you use A1 ingredients.

3:42 — Turns out I’m an idiot and DL3 isn’t a past champio, dude is here on his own merits. Amazing. Good for him.

3:42 — “Security extremely tight year round so very improbable, but any better place in the world to hook up than Amen Corner?”

If you do that, document it. We’ll toss a sailboat on your face to edit it out and it’ll be the most viewed video in TFM history.

3:40 — “Hey Chill, do you get paid per click, or per story? Cuz if it’s per click, me hopping around to all the different content and then hitting you back is gonna pay you enough to get a new car. (Matchbox car, but still)”

We count sessions and pageviews, and I have no idea how they work so just keep coming to the site and they’ll keep giving me a job. Thx.

3:39 — “2 Questions- Whats the best Sculpin? Original, Grapefruit, Habanero, or Pineapple? Im getting married in San Marcos, CA- do I serve Stone IPA or Sculpin?”

I’m drinking Grapefruit right now but I think she bought it by accident meaning to get original. Original is best, grapefruit is the best variation.

I’ve never had Stone IPA but Sculpin is my favorite beer of all-time so.

3:37 – I wouldn’t be all that surprised if this ended at 5:00 EST, guys. You can complain, but that’s like 6 hours of steady live blogging. A guy can only take so much.

3:37 — Just snagged some Pimento Cheese dip. Diet is going downhill FAST today.

3:31 — The TGI Fridays Instagram account just reminded me it’s National Beer Day. Can’t not crack one, despite the fact that National Anything Days suck.

3:29 — “I’m here to add the 100th comment to this awesome thread.”

Been a while since I’ve hit the century mark. Usually gotta go viral for that.

3:27 — I just feel bad every time they show Ernie. Dude has a killer outfit today, though. Too vest to be stressed.

3:25 — Is DL3 trying to fuck around and make the cut?

3:23 — Before anyone asks, we’re getting Sculpin IPAs by Ballast Point. SoCal beer, bruh.

3:22 — “I have a similar aesthetic as Shane Lowry. #PGP”

At our Calcutta, I called Shane Lowry a bad name that rhymes with “swat” based solely on his looks. No one disagreed.

3:21 — Fuc it, we’re getting beers. You only Masters once (per year for four rounds).

3:16 — “Will, whats your thoughts on Kiradech Aphibarnrat. Seems like a fun guy to be around…and I say that only because he’s chunky…”

We saw him at the WGC and he was HUGE. You have to respect any dude that big who can make a living as a pro athlete.

3:15 — Double barrel bogeys for Bubba to go to even. Not saying I’m happy about it but I’m also not saying I miss him being under par.

3:12 — Lotta meat left on that bone for Bubba’s bogey putt.

3:10 — When you’re a past champion who sucks at golf now, do you just go into The Masters thinking, “Eh, free round of golf at a nice course” or do you actually set yourself up for a run at another jacket?

3:07 — What injury is Jason Day going to fake this tournament? My guess is some type of neck pain. Odds 5/1.

3:05 — Speaking of bad looks, Bubba with the blue glove just made Rose’s shades excusable.

3:04 — Someone in Rose’s camp needs to explain to him that his shades make him look like a bug. He’s not some kid on spring break that can just wear party shades on the course. Terrible look for a pro.

3:01 — Gotta respect the nap game on these dogs.

3:00 — Bubba missing that four-footer and acting confused for five minutes after isn’t doing him any favors.

2:58 — Blows my mind when people know the names of the holes. I can barely remember the names of the dogs I’m dogsitting let alone 18 holes I’ve never seen before IRL.

2:55 — The responses to my tweet of Ernie 7-putting are A+.

2:52 — “Just tuned in (to golf and the live stream) – is this a situash where we can venmo $3 for jager shots or some other nonsense for a shoutout? Or is that FHO (For Hooters Only)?”

Ha, the shot was at Chili’s in Chicago O’Hare. I’m not boozing right now but I’ll do a shot at dinner tonight if anyone Venmos.

2:51 — “What is your handicap? What is your handicap hungover?”

Don’t keep track, but not great. 80s are good for me at this point. Hungover? Lucky to even finish.

2:50 — You can say that the best part about being a professional golfer is that you get paid to play golf all day, but what about the tan?

2:47 — Sucks our Calcutta auction didn’t reward the par-3, because Jimmy Walker would’ve paid out nicely for us. Luckily he still rocks Rowdy Gentleman shades on the reg so we’re still makin’ that cash off him.

2:43 — Just wrote up all of Ernie’s 7-putt. Watch at your own risk. Seriously. It’s NSFW.

2:33 — “Working from home and I’m hitting that after lunch tiredness, is it wrong to take a power nap or since it’s the masters do I power through?”

Dude, you power through. It’s the fucking Masters.

2:32 — Did Jason Day almost just hole that approach out twice in one shot? Is that even possible?

2:27 — “Nicest course you’ve played. Treetops or something down there?”

Either Torrey Pines or Arcadia Bluffs in Arcadia, Michigan. Both next to huge bodies of water which do a lot for the mind.

2:25 — “Will, what’s going on, man? You’re slowing down.” Stay put, finishing up editing some fire from Johnny D.

2:24 — If you’re late joining us, you’ve only missed about 4,813 words so just catch up and we’ll talk to you in an hour.

2:20 — Spieth has the type of facial hair where he looks like he probably has to shave once a week. Such a child.

2:19 — I don’t know why I picked Rory to win. Any of us that thought Jordan wasn’t going to put his hat in the ring for back-to-back were just idiots. Sure, everything could change tomorrow, but still.


2:14 — “That Golden Bear spot just now gave me chills for a solid minute and a half.”

Yeah, he’s okay. He’s no Arnie though.

2:11 — Oh, and anyone that doubted me about Tirico doing the coverage, please turn on ESPN. I’m specifically talking to Dave who looked at me like an idiot during our last podcast recording.

2:10 — If you’re in an office and have no television, can’t say enough about the coverage on the Masters website and CBS. Unreal how easy they make it to see so much golf.

2:05 — Spieth birdie put looming to put him 6-under. NAILED IT. That kid is good. Shoots a 66.

2:03 — I know the pin locations were probably like they were for the specific aim to get a bunch of hole-in-ones, but NINE hole-in-ones in one par-3 contest seems bananas. Especially when old fogies like Gary Player are sinking ’em.

2:02 — BOOM. Made it to TV coverage and no longer have to alt-tab back and forth on these fuckin’ tabs. Livin’ the good life in HD.

1:59 — Spieth with a MONEY approach on 18 to set himself up for another birdie. Looking to finish -6, closest person to him -3.

1:58 — Looks like Rickie is working on his short game after his round, dude is just grinding after his miserable start to the day.

1:57 — No matter how hard I try, I still can’t stop watching it.

1:55 — 18 always scares the hell out of me as an amateur golfer. It looks like you’re hitting through a jungle lined with a million people fixin’ to get hit in the face with my scuffed up Pro V1.

1:51 — Two putts, remains at 5-under heading to 18.

1:50 — Aaaaaaaaaand Spieth with another birdie opportunity on 17 to go to -6.

1:48 — “Not opposed to any of them? You’ve voiced your hatred for Top Button Bubba numerous times Will. You going soft?”

Doesn’t mean I want him to win, but any time there’s a guy with two jackets in the mix, I’m happy.

1:44 — Gallery shots on this coverage make it look like 80% of the gallery was in a fraternity.

1:42 — “Going to try to get caught up on the latest pod cast this afternoon. Job well done so far – I don’t think people realize how hard it is to have a 45 minutes conversation without pausing for more than five seconds at a time, especially with recording equipment and a mic in your face.”


1:41 — Rory at -1 through 2 as well. Imagine if Rickie didn’t shit the bed and the leadboard was even more stacked.

1:40 — I’m not psyched for Jordan’s round to finish up, but I guess I need to spread the love elsewhere. Bubba, Day, Westwood, all big names on the leaderboard right now. Not opposed to any of ’em.

1:36 — “Masters Sunday: keep the train rolling at a bar, or face the full-on Scaries in the panic room?”

Never would watch Sunday at bar. That’s couch material for the entire day, movies on movies on movies after coverage concludes.

1:35 — DeChambeau rebounds from his only bogey to hit another great par putt to remain even. Casey had a birdie put that would put him -4, one behind Jordan. Nailed it.

1:34 — Spieth just took about five minutes lining up an important par putt to stay at -5. Kissed his putter after. Hell of a putt that ended with a fist pump.

1:30 — “Think the 16/17/18 year old amateurs playing can get a beer in the clubhouse? Or is every staff member trained to say yes to everyone playing at all times?”

Gotta think they’re at least trying. #ShootersShoot

1:29 — Zach Johnson in the clubhouse at even after a tasty putt for bird.

1:28 — Dave is being silent about heading out for beers since he went to lunch. If he’s chillin’ the most without me, I swear to God.

1:26 — Fowler checking out the day at +7.

1:25 — “I am assuming you caddied, Will? Caddying is the most chill summer job there is, right?”

Never caddied. Worked at the course though, but as a waiter who worked three hours a day and golfed the rest of the time.

1:25 — Casey STICKS one. He’ll be at -4 after this hole.

1:24 — I’m going to be self-promotional, but it’s because y’all need to know. Follow and listen to our podcast, Touching Base. We talk a lotta golf.

1:20 — “Just tuning in to Da Masters and the liveblog, had to be somewhat productive this morning. Hit me with a 140-character summary of the mornings highlights.”

Spieth at it again, announcers love DeChambeau, Rickie shits the bed, Ernie 7-putts #1.

1:19 — “Really disappointed there’s not a Snapchat story for the Masters today. Damn Millenials.” No phones allowed on the course is something we should all support. Arnie probably has no clue what Snapchat even fucking is.

1:17 — DeChambeau taking a drop. Not good.

1:16 — When Rickie sucked during the WGC, we asked him for a photo and he was incredibly nice about it after his round. Can’t imagine he’d have the same attitude after today.

1:16 — SMU’s DeChambeau just got wet, the announcers all tuck their pieces back into their pants.

1:14 — “Best non-golf commentator you’d like to see do the masters? Gus Johnson?” Honestly? I don’t think you want to know my answer. It would probably be a random British dude with all the chill, or an Augusta native who will give actual insight.

1:13 — “Just an idea, but could the fine folks at Grandex come up with a way to let us choose the sorting of the comments? Long comment sections such as this get a little hard to keep up with using just the voting system, and I’m sure I’m not the only one following who would like to see at least a “newest” sort option.”

Tweet that to @TFMTechGuy.

1:10 — What does Ernie do after that 7-putt? Does he ask someone to grab him a cocktail so he can coast the rest of the round and just soak in the scenery? Gotta at least have some scotch in his bag for a little nipper.

1:06 — They just showed Spieth’s entire conversation with his caddie leading up to the approach. Love when they do that during tournaments, coolest way to watch.

Once, the announcers audio went out for the better part of an hour during some no-name tourney a few years back. It was nothing but audio of shots being hit, birds, and caddie talk. Perfect coverage. No offense, Nantz.

1:05 — Both dogs just passed the fuck out once they got back inside. That’s the dream.

1:03 — DeChambeau had a birdie on #2, pars the rest of the way. Ridiculous.

1:02 — I love live blogging, I do. But I cannot wait until TV coverage starts and I can stop alt-tabbing windows. I guess it’s better than alt-tabbing to avoid my boss seeing me watch The Masters though.

12:59 — Oh no, Ernie.

12:57 — “Does Ricky have any shot to ever win without bringing his mustache back?”

So valid. I loved the ‘stache. Not sure how he pulled it off, but he did.

12:56 — “what group would you most want to hit 18, then grab brunch with post-links?”

Can I choose the honorary starters and just watch the entire tournament from the clubhouse with Jack, Arnie, and Gary?

12:55 — “Dip or rip heaters on the course?”

Too hot for heaters, dipping gives me anxiety.

12:53 — I would’ve walked off the damn course.

12:52 — One of these dogs is chasing a fly and the other is rolling on his back in the grass. I’ll never know what it feels like to be that happy.

12:51 — “To quote the American classic “Tin Cup”, no one paid 20 bucks to watch you lay up. #letthebigdogeat”


12:50 — “Between this live blog, watching the tournament, and a company happy hour this afternoon, I might as well shut the laptop and head to a bar.”

Do it. Do it. Do IT. Do IT! DO IT! DO IT!

12:47 — Lickin’ my chops. Just look at Day.

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12:46 — “Big Willy Style, PGP is blocked by my work. I need the best reason to submit it to be unblocked. Please help.”

Just download the app and turn the wifi off on your phone, my dude.

12:43 — I’m being told 6 putts from 2 feet. That’s… that’s… that’s… I don’t even know.

12:42 — Ernie got a 10 on #1?!? Man, tough start for The Big Easy.

12:41 — Birdie for Spieth, -5.

12:41 — I don’t ban people in the comments much, but Employed and Depressed might get banned if he keeps trying to come up with reasons for people to not love Spieth.

12:40 — “Thoughts on whether Thursday/Friday of The Masters or March Madness is less productive at work nationwide?”

I’d say March Madness is more unproductive because more people like basketball than golf, but still are two brutal days to be in an office.

12:39 — “What do you hit off the tee on 13 @ Augusta Will? Bubba long or play for par?”

Always let the big dog eat.

12:39 — Just missed it. Damn.

12:38 — Spieth eagle putt to go -6…

12:37 — Jason Day with a par on 1. Bubba -1 after 2.

12:36 — Jared just sent me this screenshot. Amazing caption work from TFM’s own Dan Regester.

12:32 — Spieth and Casey are both going for eagle at Azalea, and I officially don’t know how someone can even question why you wouldn’t love Spieth when he’s lead 8 rounds of majors in the last three years.

12:31 — Rory looking especially swoll today on the range. Also appears as though he’s wearing low top Chuck Taylors.

12:29 — Phil’s shot off the pinestraw *fire emoji x 3* every time they show it. DeChambeau’s? Not so much.

12:27 — “Amen corner channel or 15 & 16 channel?” The move is on CBS doing the featured group with Spieth, DeChambeau, Casey.

12:25 — “Help me out here, what’s with all the love for Spieth? Like I get he’s really good at golf and young, but there’s plenty of those guys on tour. Is it the Texas thing, what is it that makes him exciting exactly?”

He’s been playing out of his damn mind for over a year now and has been hands down the most entertaining to watch. How can’t you love him?

Oh, and that private jet photo that earned our office a signed flag too. Sucks we had to take it down but now our ping pong table has some swag.

12:25 — DeChambeau into the straw on 13. Need a high number.

12:23 — Had they used ProTracer on this, I might’ve not been able to stand up for a week.

12:22 — Anyone else see Justin Thomas talking shit to Spieth on gchat yesterday for not getting a hole-in-one like he and Rickie did?

12:20 — What a big nuts par save from Spieth. Not liking him is impossible.

12:19 — Thank the lord we didn’t get Rickie in our Calcutta. Lord knows I wanted him.

12:19 — “Is DeChambeau a mouth breather?” Probably, can’t make fun of it though. I’m 50-50.

12:16 — Rickie with a snowman. Never what you’re looking to write down. Unless you’re me on a 600-yeard par 5. I’d be fine with that.

12:16 — Rickie just not having a great day, while the announcers are doing their absolute best to jinx Spieth by already discussing him going back-to-back. We’re like three hours into day one, guys. Tuck it in.

12:13 — Despite all the adversity of the puppy and The Masters, still managing to have a Coach Taylor-esque hair day which is just too good to be true.

12:10 — My buddy, @Fockerman7, came up with the best idea ever a couple years ago — Golf Channel live footage of the practice range, complete with ProTracer on every shot. Would watch, 10/10.

12:09 — Puppy’s name is Tahoe. Zero clue what breed it is, cute as hell though.

12:08 — “Hope there’s plenty of room on the hype train for “Chronicles of Todd”, because its going to be crowded.”

It might be a New York Times Best Seller.

12:07 — “will why did you go to UT if you grew up in michigan?” I didn’t go to UT, just went all in on them once I moved to Austin because I like tailgating.

12:06 — Par putt from Jordan. At least he’s cool, calm, and collected right now.

12:05 — Look at this mayhem.

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12:01 — You don’t know stress until you’re trying to play with a puppy, live blog The Masters, and eat a salad all at the same time. This is insanity.

12:00 — NOON. Only about an hour until Rory tees off. I’ve got him as my champ this year despite the fact that he looks just oh so punchable.

11:57 — I’ve never seen a dog clear out a bowl of food like this puppy just did, and if you follow me on Snapchat (defriewf), you know that’s amazing.

11:56 — Little dude went outside and immediately started peeing, huge victory right here.

11:55 — Fuck, puppy is awake. See you in 5.

11:54 — Spieth in some trouble in the trees. First adversity of the round.

11:52 — Got hella mini corn up in this salad.

11:50 — Just had to sneak into the other room to get my phone charger because the puppy is sleeping. Felt like Zeta-Jones in Entrapment. You know, minus the whole spandex/great ass thing.

11:49 — Just busted out a salad from Whole Foods. Johny D and my girlfriend were roasting me on Twitter last night about it. This salad is a 10/10.

11:47 — Beautiful.

11:45 — “How many times to we have to hear about the Kangol Kid’s irons?”

If he’s in the thick for the long haul, I may fly to Augusta and snap all his irons so we can stop hearing about how they’re all the same fucking length.

11:44 — SPIETH FOR BIRDIE. Now -4, solo lead with Paul Casey behind him at -3.

11:41 — “Will, Michigan or MSU growing up? Can’t tell based on your content. I believe you said you were cheering for MSU in the tournament (lol) but Todd went to Michigan.”

Go Blue but never going to cheer against the last Michigan team left in any competition.

11:40 — “Will, would you rather go to the Par 3 tournament or moving day at Augusta? I’ve heard Tuesday and Wednesday are sneaky better than Thursday – Saturday.”

I believe it but I wanna see meaningful shots. I’d never turn down a Sunday ticket, but I can’t imagine going and missing something like Tiger’s shot on 16 because I was on the wrong hole. Would never forgive myself.

11:39 — “What’s in the bag, Will?”

Just got a new Callaway driver, Taylor Made 3-wood, Titleist hybrid, Ping irons that were fitted to my high school body and monogrammed, and the most Phil Mickelson looking Odyssey putter ever.

11:38 — “Best/worst dressed on tour?”

Best: Adam Scott, probably. Understated, hell of a wardrobe.

Worst: Poulter, Poulter, Poulter. He’s the worst everything on the tour.

11:37 — Lamest strategy ever.

11:34 — Dave just asked if I was heading to a bar this afternoon to live blog. Dude clearly wants to finish some beers this afternoon. Love it.

11:32 — Gchat I just got from Veronica: “did you watch Girls yet….”

Veronica, no, I haven’t. I’m in Masters mode and will watch it back-to-back with the new episode on Sunday when The Masters ends and my life is in shambles.

11:31 — The announcers are rock hard for DeChambeau and it’s getting real old, real quick. I get it, he’s a quirky amateur. But he’s not even the most entertaining person in his group.

11:30 — “Drink of choice on the course ?” Beers beers beers. Unless I get full, then switch to vodka-sodas with a lotta lemon.

11:29 — “Will just hates DeChambeau because he hates everything SMU.” I don’t hate everything SMU. I love any school who also believes college athletes deserve to be paid.

11:27 — Golf Channel is currently doing a feature on DeChambeau and they’re making him sound like Rainman. He also slacklines, so yeah, he’s every guy you hated in college who did that in the quad barefoot.

11:25 — Daniel Berger T2 at -2. If you don’t remember him, he’s the one we discussed on the podcat who has a scorching hot girlfriend. Like Paulina Gretzky, but if she didn’t have a drug problem.

11:25 — They just said Spieth is sharing a locker with Arnie in the Champions Lockerroom. Can you even imagine? Seriously, can you even fucking imagine?

11:24 — He backed off the putt, stepped back up and missed. Still at -3.

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11:23 — But now we’ve got Spieth with an 18-footer to go four-under…

11:21 — Casey misses a birdie putt that would’ve put him at -3 with Spieth. Jussssst misses. Thankfully. No one can touch Jordan.

11:20 — Good for Tom Watson being even after 10. Remember when he almost won the British a few years ago only to almost die on the last hole? Still makes me tear up.

11:18 — “Do you go visor or hat for when you play? And if visor, which kind?”

Sometimes, high crown, one from Torrey, one from the course I grew up on in Michigan.

11:18 — “What happened to the group viewing in the Grandex conference room?”

I fucked it up by committing to puppysitting. I regret it, yes.

11:16 — Is Jordan wearing a black and white checkered belt? I want to give him a makeover. No more white pants, hair implants, black and brown belts only. It’s not that hard, J.

11:15 — Vanilla Johnson with a long par putt. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

11:15 — Rickie with a bogey on 10 to go +1 for the day. I can’t help but feel like I might’ve put a stink on him.

11:13 — Lack of comments in the last 15 minutes = lunch break on the east coast. Just gotta endure these things and look forward to the afternoon. Hope people are sneaking some lunch beers out there.

11:12 — “Can only punch one in the face….2007 Rory Sabattini or current day Bubba Watson?”

My nickname is Chill deBreeze. Not exactly a huge fighter.

11:12 — Would’ve taken me four shots to get out, Rickie almost dunked it.

I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. Saw the Twitter hot take you put out on Barstool, care to address a little bit?

11:10 — How mad are you when you grow up, move to the US, and realize your name is Thongchai?

11:09 — Really wish CBS was playing the “HALL OF FAME” commercial every five minutes like they did for last year’s US Open with Rory.

11:08 — Spieth alone atop the leaderboard. Do. Not. Look. Back.

11:07 — My buddies from home call Zach Johnson “Vanilla” because he’s boring and Dustin Johnson “Chocolate” because he’s the opposite of vanilla.

11:06 — Bubba teeing off in about 40 minutes, so there should be a huge influx of tweets about how much of an asshole he is coming in about 41 minutes.

11:05 — Stenson tied for the lead (until Spieth putts) so I’m essentially already counting our winnings.

11:04 — Just broke the seal for the first time today. Not a great sign.

11:02 — DeChambeau just hopped aboard the struggle shuttle.

11:01 — Getting reemed out on gchat for calling Jared the worst golfer. It’s actually probably Dan. Spends too much time in the gym like Rory.

11:00 — Spieth just had a BUTTERY shot on the 8th setting himself up for a short birdie putt. #SpringOfJordan

10:58 — My phone is normally on silent, but changed my ringtone to the Masters theme years ago and it’s the best.

10:57 — “I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. Saw the Twitter hot take you put out on Barstool, care to address a little bit?” I like Barstool, hilarious guys. Just not okay with the two people accusing us of plagiarism.

10:55 — “If you were the Masters winner, what would your champions dinner consist of?”

Was hoping someone would ask. The first Masters I win, I’d to a perch fry to toss it back to the Michigan roots. Second green jacket I win? I’m going surf and turf, lobsters and filets.

10:54 — Rickie wild off the tee but still even. If he hones it in… could get interesting.

10:53 — “Would you judge me if I say I got an iphone 6 plus just to watch the masters at work?” Not at all, been there.

10:51 — “Will, I’d love to show you my Master’s setup, but my setup is PGP & Excel on the computer and golf on the phone. Thanks corporate IT policy.”

PGP on PGP on PGP.

10:50 — Wouldn’t hate it DeChambeau had a triple or two to get his name off the leaderboard.

10:49 — “Over under for how many times Jim Nantz says Tiger Woods name during the Master’s is 9.5. Which would you take and for how much?” Less on Nantz, more on how many clips they show. He deserves all the mentions in the world. He’s the reason I love golf, which I’d bet is something everyone on this live blog can understand.

10:46 — “When can we expect to see TGDAG from Todd’s perspective? I need to know what this girl is working with.”

There will be a Chronicles Of Todd: The Kentucky Derby, Parts 1 & 2.

10:45 — “What’d you shoot at Torrey?” No comment.

“Do you think DJ would try to bang Jimmy Walker’s wife again if Walker beat him down the stretch to win?” No comment.

“You drinking yet Will?” No comment.

10:44 — Tweet all your Masters/Spreadsheet desk setups to @PostGradProblem, need all of ’em.

10:43 — Spieth with a 47-footer for bird, just trying to get a par outta this which he did.

10:42 — That leaderboard I posted was incorrect, Spieth still co-leader.

10:40 — I’m better at spelling “McConaughey” than I am at spelling “DeChambeau” if that tells you anything.

10:39 — This is the leaderboard we’re working with right now. Obviously take it with a grain of salt because it’s so early.

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10:36 — One of the dogs I’m watching is a boxer and this dude is just snoring his face off in front of me. Like, dude, it’s The Masters. Get it together.

10:34 — “Augusta National’s menu (and price) is semi-famous. What meal are you going with if you’re at the course?”

I’m a HUGE Pimento Cheese guy. Kills me to leave the grocery store without it. I also make a hell of a dip myself though.

10:33 — “Willy, what’s the best round of golf you’ve ever had and where was it?”

Played 36 holes at Torrey last spring, 18 South Course, 18 North Course until sunset. Perfect day.

10:31 — “Will, I’ve actually got a badge to go tomorrow and was planning on wearing my Pebble pullover (I actually have played Pebble). Do I need to re-think this based off your apparel recommendations?”

No, pullovers say, “I spent a lot on this because I played it” whereas polos say, “Someone gave this to me.” Get out there and look good.

10:31 — “Who is the shittiest golfer at Grandex?”


10:31 — The people I’m dogsitting for are at Augusta, so I’m essentially just hoping they’ll bring me back all the swag and a pimento cheese sandwich.

10:30 — “You going to keep this blog going all day? Just wondering whether I’m working at 30% efficiency today or 10%.”

All day. Only possible long break would be for lunch, at which point it would be me driving to a bar. Probably not happening so just keep pressing the refresh button.


10:29 — Also, will not be live blogging tomorrow. Got too many things going on. Special podcast guest, catered lunch, etc etc etc.

10:27 — We’ve still got about 3.5 hours until full television coverage starts. Gonna be a loooooong day.

10:27 — Quote from Kayla who has been guest starring on the podcast: “i just tried to read the live blog and its like i was reading in spanish”

10:25 — “What would be your go to outfit if you were at the Masters?”

You have to go golf shirt from a course that says, “I spent a lot of money to play here” while also making sure it’s a course that people wonder about. Can’t have a Pebble shirt because people will assume you didn’t actually play it.

10:25 — “Will, why are you not a fan of Phil” I love Phil. I’m a lefty too so I’ve liked him since I was a little guy.

10:24 — If there’s a five minute period where I’m silent, I’m probably taking care of this puppy. Might Periscope him at some point.

10:23 — DeChambeau is a psycho but there’s still something I like about him. His swing is brutal to watch but maybe it’s just because he looks like a tall glass of water who could be a great wing man as long as he doesn’t open his mouth.

10:23 — “What’s the drink of choice today?” Keeping it cool with some probies right now, sizzling tonight though so I’ll be faded on margaritas by day’s end.

10:22 — “Can I take credit for the 10am start to the blog due to our twitter exchange? Don’t answer, I’m going to anyways.” Yes, you can.

10:21 — “Will – you can’t pick anyone from the big 4 (McIlroy, Day, Spieth, Fowler) and you can’t pick any past champions, out of those left who is your pick to win?”

Stenson, because I’d make a bunch of money. Koepka, Justin Thomas, any young gun.

10:20 — “Will, what would be your go to Sunday scripting if you were on the tour?”

Final round shootout between Rickie and Spieth. I’d include DJ but it’s hard watching him crumble every time.

10:20 — Rickie with a bogey to go back even. Feast or famine.

10:19 — ZJ just made a HELL of a putt through the fringe after finding himself in trouble. Can’t count him out. 2007 champ, always has his hat in the ring.

10:18 — A tradition unlike any other.

10:17 — “Is there something wrong with me? Just can’t get on board with the Spieth train. I think it’s cause he’s younger than me and arguably better looking. Definitely jealous. I respect the dude, I just always find myself rooting against him.”

Yes, there’s 100% something wrong with you.

“Thoughts on the Martin Kaymer situation? Total bad ass for not giving a fuck about PGA requirements?”

Any dude that wears a scarf on the course ain’t no friend of mine.

10:16 — Who am I kidding? I love him too much anyway.

10:15 — Jordan should tap in for par here. I’d probably love him TOO much if he shot an opening 64 like last year.

10:13 — We previewed The Masters on Touching Base, our podcast. Don’t miss it.

10:11 — “Will one of the Aces yesterday be the winner? Gotta think that shows strong approach confidence.”

I’m not saying that Walker being the first par-3 champion would pay out nicely for a group of us, but we’ll be rooting for it. Hard.

10:09 — My setup:

In a comfy-ass chair with ottoman in front of me. Kombucha to my right, coffee to my left. Rocking out some black 5″ Baggies and a technical golf shirt from a course back home. Two dogs in the building, one napping in front of me, puppy napping in his room.

10:08 — Paul Casey with a similar shot, will show Spieth the line. Everything coming up Spieth.

10:08 — Spieth on 5, just had a hell of an approach setting him up for a birdie putt below the hole.

10:07 — “Will, out of all the participants, who would you want to brunch with?” Apparently Rickie gets hammered, Dufner as well. But a few years ago? DJ, pre-Paulina. Dude sounded like a one-man wrecking crew.

The least? Bubba.

10:06 — Rickie is just dominating a highlighter yellow shirt today, further showing that he and I just have completely different takes on golf style. Still respect the joggers and high-tops though. So fashion forward.

10:04 — My picks this year:

Fiscally, I need to cheer for Stenson. But I wouldn’t cry if he took second or third as that still pays out.

Emotionally? I’m cheering for Spieth (obviously) and DJ. After all, DJ and I are best friends who eat at the same Tex-Mex restaurant together whenever he’s in Austin, so.

10:03 — “You guys really have to start this shit at 10:00 on a Thursday? We’ve all got two whole days of real work left! (I’m not angry, it’s just the jealousy talking.)”

With Spieth on the course, couldn’t not let it rip earlier than normal.

10:02 — “What’s your take on deChambeau’s headwear?” I don’t hate him as much as everyone else seems to but it’s not the worst. Payne Stewart will always own that look though. HORRIBLE golf swing though.

10:00 — Just wanna be clear, went to Whole Foods last night and had a couple glasses of Pinot. Not saying I was having a little personal celebration that it was Masters Eve, but I did have a few extra buttons undone on my shirt.

9:57 — A LOT happening on the course with some big names going out early, namely Spieth and Rickie. Rickie doubled the first hole and then birdied 2, 3, and 5 to get back to 1-under. Big nuts.

9:56 — With CBS covering it live all day online, what better time to start than now?

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Editor at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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