I’m gonna just ride the rest of this day out on the toilet. PGP.

My boss forgot she wasn’t talking to her husband and accidentally said, “I love you,” to me on the phone last night. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.

Last one in, first one out.

Packing a lunch and then eating it alone in your car. PGP

Skipping the closet and just living entirely out of the dryer. #PGP

The awkward moment when your boss asked you to perform a task you lied about being proficient in on your résumé PGP

Looking forward to a television show more than anything else on the weekend. PGP.