Going to the other Chipotle for fear of becoming a regular at the closer one. PGP.

A 23-year-old just won the World Cup for his country. All I’ve done for mine is pay taxes. PGP.

Spent all night debating what type of fat guy I am after reading the PGP column. PGP.

I haven’t spoken out loud to a single actual person today. PGP.

BACK SEAT, WINDOWS UP…is how I arrive at work in my carpool. PGP.

Having a significantly better lifestyle while away on a business trip. PGP.

Contemplating a Denzel from Training Day-esque meltdown upon being told to complete the simplest of tasks. PGP.

Getting issued a company laptop is awesome until you realize it means you are expected to work from home now. PGP.

Realizing, at the urinal, that your boxers on are on backwards. PGP.