Stuck in traffic so long this morning I got hungry and ate my lunch. PGP

“I’m still trying to play catch-up from being out of the office last week.” PGP

There’s a 95 percent chance I will be sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall when the rapture happens. PGP

Taking 2 hours of mental preparation for 10 minutes worth of work. PGP

“He’s middle-management material.” PGP.

I’ll probably just get more coffee at 4:20. PGP.

That 2:30 feeling at 9 am. PGP.

Every time my parents invite me over, I prepare myself to be on an episode of “Intervention.”

If I can just make it to lunch, I’ll probably make it through the rest of the day. PGP.

Almost called into work because I’m still hungover. PGP