Getting legitimately excited to update your LinkedIn after accepting a new job. PGP.

Co-worker calls me “Good Girl” every time I do something before he asks me to do it. PGP.

Upvoting your own comment on PGP. PGP.

I actually ran a pen out of ink before I lost it. PGP.

If my coworker can bring her screaming three year old into the office, why can’t I bring my dog? PGP.

“Sale” “Sort by: Lowest price first” PGP.

I thought “Athleisure” was a brand — I’ve been looking all around for it. PGP.

Completing deliverables hungover is my version of the Jordan flu game. PGP.

“The new hires are all bright eyed and bushy tailed.” PGP.

My only real motivation at work is not to get fired and not to get hassled. PGP.