“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”
My manager is having a grad party for getting her masters. I didn’t get invited.
I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them
Your boss asking for a volunteer, but then just choosing you anyway
“Firing up” your computer in the morning. PGP
My desk computer loves running lengthy mandatory software updates exclusively on the days that I am currently running late.
It’s not “Piece of Shit Car,” but it will do.
5 of my Facebook friends are celebrating birthdays today, and I don’t care about any of them
We all just got laid off.
Having ambitions to make chicken parmesan for dinner, being so lazy I settle for a rotisserie chicken instead. PGP
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