Fell asleep in front of the TV and realized how similar I am to my parents now. PGP.

I’m not allowed to wear headphones at work. PGP.

“Your password is about to expire.” PGP.

When your coworker insists on the two of you having “catch ups” like she is your manager when the two of you are of the same rank. PGP.

Being ghosted by multiple companies that you interviewed with. PGP.

“You sure buy a lot of Shiner and a lot of dip, everything good?”-Owner of neighborhood gas station. PGP.

Getting more happy birthday wishes from LinkedIn than all other social media. PGP.

Had a chorizo breakfast burrito and large coffee this morning. Bathroom was out of toilet paper. PGP.

Was told the lobbyist I was meeting today had a penchant for non-PC jokes. Apparently, I went too far. PGP.

I sharted in the shower this morning. My body is officially falling apart. PGP.