Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.

Just learned I have to carry a separate business iPhone, making me look like the biggest douche of all-time. PGP.

Not understanding a Goddamn thing in the 401k booklet Grandex (PGP’s parent company) just handed me. PGP.

I’ve been actively picking my nose at my desk for twenty minutes. PGP.

Somebody stole my stapler. I’m not trying to be funny. The guy in the cube next to me took it and I had to ask him to give it back. PGP.

Wishing your coworkers were hotter. PGP.

Going to a concert relatively sober. PGP.

Getting the high score on the blood pressure monitor at your local CVS. PGP.

Becoming addicted to non-addictive sleep aids. PGP.

Being in at least four fantasy football leagues because that is all you have to look forward to. PGP.