The guy Merrill Lynch assigned to manage my IRA is one year younger than me. PGP.

I’m seeing how long I can go without shaving before management says something because I can’t afford new razor blades until payday. PGP

Got caught Tindering during a meeting. I then had to explain to several of my managers what Tinder was. I can’t tell if they are disgusted or sorry for me. PGP.

Using the fear of Ebola as an excuse for not going to the gym. PGP.

I’m better prepared to get Ebola than to get someone pregnant. PGP.

Just made a song set to the sound of our industrial copier. PGP.

I’m not anti-social, I just don’t like anyone I work with. PGP.

Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.