Our VP of Marketing is wearing Target sandals at Happy Hour. Here I am thinking a promotion would mean nicer things. PGP.

The only text you get all day is from your FitBit telling you you’ve done zero minutes of physical activity today. PGP.

There’s a dead animal in the wall at the office. I’ve never seen anyone here more excited. PGP.

Just flirted with a sorority girl for two minutes and thought, “I still got it.” PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

That 10am Bio 101 class doesn’t seem so bad anymore. PGP.

Gave my little brother a sympathy card for his college graduation. PGP.

Saving your college ID for its discounts until you land a big boy job. PGP.

Every day feels like my own personal Fail Friday. PGP.

I’ve got a little change in my pocket…and honestly that’s all I have. PGP.