When people in the office go “out” to lunch, they get a dollar menu item from a fast food joint. PGP.

Considering moving to the suburbs so you have an excuse to not go out drinking and go to sleep early on the weekends. PGP.

Utilizing WebMD for medical jargon to make your fake illness sound much more believable. PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

Finally got a view on my online dating profile. It was my mom and she emailed me a list of things to edit. PGP.

Not pouring ice water on your head for charity, but because you can’t afford air conditioning. PGP.

Realizing that by “stay in school” they meant “don’t ever leave.” PGP.

I just applied to be a daycare teacher. My degree is in PR. PGP.

I’ve taken a total of two legitimate sick days in my first six months at my job. My manager told me at if I keep up the pace, I won’t make it a year. PGP.

Car naps at lunch becoming more appealing than the thought of eating. PGP.