Never realized the extent of my immaturity until I attended today’s sexual misconduct seminar. PGP.

I have my headphones in so no one will talk to me but they aren’t even plugged in. PGP.

Babe flirting with me in the bar turned out to be a hooker. I couldn’t afford it. PGP

I’m drunk in my LinkedIn profile pic. PGP.

Those people on the technical school commercials look more happy and successful than me. PGP.

I didn’t drink at all yesterday. This morning I feel like a million bucks, that I’ll probably never have. PGP.

I still make out in bars.PGP

My dad started following me on instagram. PGP

Reopened my tab to watch my team lose in overtime

Came back home drunk on a Thursday night to hear, “How was your night honey?” From my mom.