5 of my Facebook friends are celebrating birthdays today, and I don’t care about any of them

We all just got laid off.

Having ambitions to make chicken parmesan for dinner, being so lazy I settle for a rotisserie chicken instead. PGP

Tuesday is the day I stop regretting last weekend and start looking forward to this weekend. PGP.

After two and a half years, I’ve finally encountered someone who puts haikus in their e-mail signature.

Tried to impress a girl at the gym…threw my back out

“at least it was good interview practice”. PGP.