Forget the freshman fifteen, the cubicle fifteen is real. PGP.

My paycheck feels like a participation award. PGP.

Forgot my headphones today. PGP.

I can recognize cars I’ve seen before by their license plates on my commute. PGP.

My neighbors’ kids stay up later than I do. PGP.

Please don’t hold the elevator. I’d rather wait than say “good morning.” PGP.

Ate half a frozen pepperoni pizza for lunch with a side of ranch. Still not the lowest point of my day. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

Work being an excuse to get away from my family during the holidays. PGP.

There is nothing for me to do today. I don’t know why they made me come in. PGP.