“This online training will take approximately one hour to complete.” Bet I can make it two. PGP.

I was going to spend all day at work applying for new jobs. I gave up by 10 a.m. PGP.

Purposely taking your sweet ass time during the fire drill. PGP.

Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.

The only reason I’m dating him is so I can say “He’s in Law School” to everyone I meet. PGP.

The bathroom window has been open for literally a month. Either no one else has noticed or no one cares. PGP.